He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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