How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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