i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Less talking, more tequila
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
