found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
