It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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