Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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