life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I didn't shave. On purpose
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
