Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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