You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
