I love black thongs
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want her autograph on my taint
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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