I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
