Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
