My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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