He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we made out on top of his cat.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
