So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
