i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
