Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
