We're facebook friends in real life
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize