cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
