i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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