we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
