Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize