please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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