rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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