your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
