If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How naked do you want me to be?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
