Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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