that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
