my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
NoShamevember. You game?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
