He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
