You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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