On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
