Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
