Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
