"it" just moved
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize