its not stalking. its research.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
