I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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