I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
