I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
