What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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