What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
