The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
