Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize