My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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