FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
