Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
