Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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