Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
