i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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