if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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