What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
