Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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