my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she woke up with a sticky ear
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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