I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
