It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I intend to get homeless drunk
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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