in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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