My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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