In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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