I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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