is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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