Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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