I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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