i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize