So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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