woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I want to be your penis for a week.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
