I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize