I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
