i just had sex bonerless
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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