Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
