I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
