saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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