paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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